It is December 21st, and I keep hearing about ‘last minute shopping’ on the radio and TV commercials. For the record, my idea of ‘last minute shopping’ is driving around on Christmas morning trying to find an open gas station that sells gift cards. Until I reach that point, I am not conceding to the ‘last minute’ message. I am not succumbing to panic. I have DAYS. To be exact, I have 4 days. 96 hours. 5,760 minutes. I have PLENTY of time.
On my way home from work, I will get to CVS for stocking stuffers. Later tonight, I will email gift cards to out-of-state relatives while I sip a glass of wine. Sometime tomorrow, I will stop at Walmart for underwear and socks. OF COURSE it’s a busy time of year. OF COURSE the budget is stretched thin. OF COURSE I feel pressured to get a million things done.
In the past weeks, I have missed the fundraiser deadline, skipped the football banquet, forgotten the electric bill, and lost important meeting notes. I have been too lax about screen time and too angry about dirty laundry. I skipped Christmas cards entirely, and I still haven’t made the goddamned cheesecake.
But last night I taught my boys to play blackjack. It was fun and silly and totally enjoyable. My husband and Bea went to church to rehearse a song that they’re singing together at the Christmas Pageant. I heard it was beautiful, and great for the two of them to have some time to connect. Once everyone was in bed, my husband and I met some friends for a few drinks and an impromptu double date. There were both tears and laughter, and for a little while, I forgot about the endless tasks and the lengthy shopping list and the jam-packed calendar. I let go of the pressures of the holiday season.
And I realized that, ultimately, I get to decide whether these things are the center of my holidays or just the frame. I can choose whether I am frantic or focused. I can decide what my priorities are. I can choose whether I contribute napkins or elaborate reindeer-faced cupcakes to the class party. I can decide whether dinner is home made or takeout. I get to determine if my gifts will be elaborately wrapped or stuffed into gift bags. I can choose whether to perceive scarcity or abundance. I can choose to focus on my failures or celebrate my successes.
Today, I’m choosing to celebrate. Most likely with takeout and wine, and who knows…. Maybe even with cheesecake. 🙂
I love reading your blog. You speak real life. It’s all about the moments. They forget the “stuff” they never forget the moments❤️