My left eye has been twitching for nearly a week. Everything I’ve read tells me it’s nothing to worry about. It’ll probably stop when I get more sleep and reduce my stress levels and quit drinking caffeine and alcohol.
Just call me Twitchy, because this looks like a long-term condition.
But seriously, I’m convinced at least some of the problem is all of my anxiety over question 3. Question 3 is on the ballot because a group of ‘concerned citizens’ believe that transgender people are a threat in public restrooms.
If you live in Massachusetts and are even considering voting no on question 3, please, PLEASE, PLEASE talk to me about it. Talk to me so I can explain how this is about so much more than bathrooms. I need you to know that a NO vote on 3 means that:
– hospital employees could refuse to treat my son because they don’t agree with who he is. And we would have no recourse.
– restaurant owners could ask him to leave because they don’t like the looks of him and we would have to accept that. Because, umm… religious liberty? Seriously?
– my son could be asked to leave or refused service in ANY PUBLIC PLACE and, legally speaking, we would be out of luck.
And, if the opposition wants to make it about bathrooms, then let’s talk about the freaking bathrooms.
My 8 year old used to stand outside the restrooms in his elementary school, trying to inconspicuously wait until nobody was in there. Because he was still using the girls room but he dressed like a boy and little girls would question him. If somebody walked in while he was in there, he hid in the stall until they left. It took him like half an hour to pee.
I was with him once, before he came out to me. He was wearing boy’s clothes and sporting a sort of androgynous haircut and he stood outside the bathrooms at our open and affirming church and said, “I don’t want to go in there.” I didn’t get it. I insensitively dragged him into the ladies room with me, insisting that his mom was with him and he was just washing his hands and nobody was going to bother him. I was wrong. A teenaged girl told him that the boys’ room was down the hall. My heart cracked into pieces.
NOBODY is more at risk in a public restroom than transgender people. Every time we go to a new place, my son takes his brother with him to check out the bathrooms and make sure that they’re safe. Bathrooms are fraught. And for my little boy? If some transphobic moron decides that he doesn’t belong in the men’s room? Who do you think is vulnerable in that situation?
Anybody who is worried about ‘a man in a dress’ or some other nonsense obviously doesn’t know any transgender people. Or at least doesn’t KNOW that they know transgender people. Can we please focus on protecting people who ACTUALLY experience harassment?
Instead of supporting the legislation that’s ALREADY in place to protect a vulnerable population, we’re proposing to repeal it because somebody might be uncomfortable?
The idea that you deserve to be comfortable all the time is, in itself, an indicator of privilege. If you can move through your life without being judged by the color of your skin or the size of your body or your country of origin, that’s a privilege. If you can walk through a parking lot without carrying your keys as a weapon or walk through a store without being followed by security or enter a public restroom without fear of harassment or assault, then you already experience a level of comfort that is out of reach for many people.
Folks, please. Don’t be gullible. Don’t allow fear mongering campaign ads to lead you to place the ‘comfort’ of some over the basic rights of others.
And once we settle this thing? Once we all vote YES on 3, and move on to fighting for human rights at a national level?
Maybe then my eye will stop twitching. But I’m not holding my breath.