We’re letting up a little on our quarantine rules. The kids can hang out with a friend, as long as they stay outside. The adults have the same rule, so we can sit by a fire pit with another couple and have a few drinks. If we need to run to the store, we don our masks and go. Things are starting to feel just a little more normal. It’s almost summer vacation, so the online classes are ending and the days feel a lot less hectic.
Because we’ve been home for so long already, I’m not feeling the usual, self-inflicted summer pressure. I don’t have a massive ‘to-do’ list because I’ve tackled so much of it already. We’ve completed the epic three-bedroom switch of 2020. I love my new room and the kids love theirs. The basement is cleaner than it’s been in years. Much of the house is freshly painted, and Lee gets his new mattress delivered on Monday. The linen closet is clean and we cleared out a large section of the backyard for a fire pit near the river. That list of accomplishments helps me to feel… satisfied. Settled. Calm. There used to be three rooms in our house that felt incomplete or uninviting to me. That’s no longer the case. I’m in love with our home. Before, the back yard was unwelcoming. We didn’t have enough sunshine or places to sit. That’s not true anymore. I’m able to really enjoy our outdoor space, too.
Yesterday, we did a bunch of yardwork and cleaning and I was sweating my tail off. Cal begged me to join him in the pool (which I rarely do before August), and I decided to take him up on it. I had just recently ordered a new bathing suit online, which, shockingly, I LOVE. I was excited to put it on and ease into the cool water.
My youngest son and I cleaned the pool and played games and floated and I was reminded how nice it feels to just stop and enjoy the kids and the pool and the sunshine. The neighbor boys came over to swim, too, while I sat in the sun and sipped a mojito and read my book. My middle child biked to a friend’s house. The oldest went for a drive. Even as I enjoyed this time with Cal, I was reminded that they’re all growing up so quickly. They have their own friends and their own lives and their own modes of transportation now. It’s exciting and sad all at the same time.
I’m a pretty task-oriented person. I wake up each morning with a list of things to accomplish, and I generally spend my first few wakeful moments planning the sequence of my day. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t work all the time. Sometimes the plan includes a trip to the lake or a picnic or a hike or a family movie. But this summer is going to require a shift. Most of our summer activities aren’t possible in the same way this year. There won’t be trips to museums or beaches. There won’t be bowling alleys and visits to the mall.
Generally, if I’m home, I’m working on something. Cleaning or a project or cooking or even writing. I might be hosting some friends or setting up for a party. But I don’t often have a day where I’m at home and the plan is just to relax. That’s just not how I’m wired.
For this summer, I’m going to have to make an effort to rewire. A day at the beach will be replaced with a day in the backyard, and I’m going to have to be able to relax there without worrying about the laundry or the projects or any of the other infinite jobs that come with home ownership and parenting.
So I guess that’s my goal for this summer. Instead of tackling a ridiculous to-do list, I’m going to practice enjoying what we have. These kids aren’t going to be here forever. The sunny days in the backyard are more numbered than I’d like to admit. The chores and the projects will never be done. But someday soon, the kids will be gone and I’ll certainly regret all the days I didn’t spend in our little intex pool. I’ll regret the giggles and the splashes that I missed. I’ll regret the s’mores we didn’t make and the hikes we didn’t take much more than I’ll regret the fact that our bathroom never got repainted.
So, here’s to a different kind of summer. I’ll be in the backyard with a mojito, if anyone wants to join me.