Sanctuary States

Yesterday I read a post in one of my online parent groups.  A family from Florida waited a year to get into one of the best gender clinics in the country, which happens to be in Boston. They were seeking the best possible care for their child.  And while they waited, their home state banned transgender medical care for minors.  It’s heartbreaking, but not entirely surprising for Florida.  

This family traveled across the country to Boston.  They had a great appointment; consulted with the psychiatrist, the social worker, and the gender specialist.  They worked with a team of doctors and medical professionals to determine the best interventions and care for their child.  And then they got a call that their treatment plan was ‘on hold.’  

On hold while the lawyers figure out how to deal with ‘families like theirs.’  

Supportive, loving families from 19 states in our country (yes… NINETEEN) no longer have access to appropriate, affirming medical care for their children.  Those with the means are crossing state lines.  Because that’s what we do to take care of our families.  We do whatever is necessary.  

California, Colorado, Connecticut, Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Jersey, New Mexico, Vermont, and Washington have declared themselves ‘sanctuary states.’  These states are protecting medical professionals and families who provide gender-affirming care.  

I hear ‘sanctuary’ and I think of political refugees and endangered wildlife.   If you need a sanctuary, you are not safe out in the world.  Out there you will be persecuted, prosecuted, hunted.  

In the United States of America… land of the free… in the year 2023… our  children need sanctuary states to receive appropriate medical treatment. Because there is no doubt about it, our CHILDREN have a target on their backs.  They represent the hot-button political issue of the day, and they have become the collateral damage in this war between politicians.  

It makes me ill.  There is a helpless, hopeless feeling that engulfs me when I read these things. Even the most established gender clinic in the country, in a sanctuary state, isn’t sure how to handle out of state families.   

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Most of you know that my husband and I have very different political leanings.  I don’t know how this issue became about being a Republican or a Democrat.  I don’t know how we wound up putting people’s personal, private medical care at the center of our politics. 

Our societal problems are not the fault of gender-diverse children.  Our societal problems are not caused by families doing the best they can. Our problems aren’t created by average people living average lives.  They are a result of a broken system, corrupt leadership, and abuses of power.  

We are being played.  We are being manipulated by a system that knows how to rile us up and keep us distracted. Instead of looking to limit the power of the politicians, it’s beneficial to those in charge if we keep fighting with each other about things that are deeply personal, highly emotional, and hotly contested.  

How about this?  How about we trust other humans to take care of their own damn deeply personal, highly emotional, hotly contested business.  

Then we can focus on making the kind of real changes that might just save us all.